solemn vows as a Carmelite nun. Her
initial struggle gave way to a lasting
joy: “[God] gave me such great happiness at being in the religious state
of life that it never left me up to this
day, and God changed the dryness
my soul experienced into the greatest
tenderness. All the things of religious
life delighted me, and . . . I . . . experienced a new joy that amazed me.”
When I first began considering
religious life, I never would have
imagined I’d experience this “new
joy” of which Teresa wrote. But the
experience of responding to God’s call
and eventually professing my vows
as an I.H.M. sister was a joy that I’d
never felt before. I felt like a new person, yet more myself than ever.
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she might never do it. So early one
morning Teresa quietly left her
father’s house for the convent: “I remember, clearly and truly, that when
I left my father’s house I felt that
separation so keenly that the feeling
will not be greater, I think, when I
die. For it seemed that every bone in
my body was being sundered.”
The pain which Teresa wrote
about here is real. Whether it be family or friends, careers or possessions
that we want to hold onto, God’s call
is all-encompassing. It is a call to be
open to radical change in our lives, if
that’s what God asks of us.
Filled with a new joy
Teresa entered the Carmelite Monastery of the Incarnation in 1533, took
the habit, and eventually professed
Trusting always in God
All along the way it helped to have
Teresa by my side. Today she is still
very much a companion. Sometimes
I turn to her writings for encouragement, other times for help in a pastoral or theological quandary. Whenever I have questions about prayer or
don’t quite understand how the Spirit
is moving in my life, I pray and seek
guidance from Teresa.
Even Teresa’s own tangles with
God (once, when complaining of her
suffering, Teresa heard Jesus respond,
“This is how I treat my friends,” to
which she rejoined, “No wonder
you have so few!”) give me assurance that my struggles are not out of
the ordinary and that there is a way
through the darkness.
Although I have known Teresa
for many years now, I continue to
discover new things about her.
Recently I read a book of her letters.
They reveal a woman who was deeply committed to a contemplative life
but who was, of necessity, engaged
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